It’s nice to be wanted.

It’s really nice to be wanted in a line of work where rejection can rule.

It’s especially nice to be wanted when it’s backed by funding ‘cos that means you can stop fighting to stay alive for a while and focus on what you get out of bed for in the first place.

So it was indeed especially nice when NHS Health & Justice NW confirmed last week that there was enough in my work from last year with older men in prison https://bigandscaryrunning.com/%EF%BF%BCputting-the-band-back-together/  to merit a contract extension and expansion of the work for another two years.

Another milestone and yes, a glass of something special might just have been cracked in the Mouncey household when that news broke. 

While I’ve not exactly been down on the proverbial beach since the end of the first block of this work back in Feb, the re-start could be creaky in places. Much of the smoothness that is evident in a confident delivery comes from familiarity of patterns and trends that only comes from spending time with the people at the chalkface: There is a rhythm to the work and a rationale with what to rail against and what to roll with - especially so when working in an environment such as this. So I’m eager to get back on the bike and wiser with it – I hope.

Arguably the biggest lesson from the first round was how I look after me: Proactive and reactive professional self-care https://bigandscaryrunning.com/why-so-serious/

So I’ve made some changes.

Next in line is only working where I’m welcome and wanted because it’s no longer enough for there to be a need I can help with.

So I’ve come up with ways to test the level of welcome pre-start and given myself permission to walk if I find more mouth than trousers - AND got my funder to be OK with that. Oh the pre-start work is going to be so much fun from now on!

As to the rest of this world? Some things are different and some things remain:

More People Inside

We’re sending more people to prison earlier and for longer, we’re projected to keep doing so but are starting to hit ‘full’ now https://www.russellwebster.com/the-scale-of-the-prison-capacity-crisis/

More People Re-Offend

Nearly everyone currently inside will be released and more than half will be back inside in a year – a figure that has remained unchanged for decades (Prison Reform Trust).

Lockdown Lingers On

More than half of all people in prison are (still) in their cell for 22hrs a day – and that figure rises to ¾ at weekends (Prison Reform Trust The Bromley Briefings Jan 2023) https://www.russellwebster.com/chief-inspector-of-prisons-criticises/

Retain & Recruit

An exodus of experienced staff has meant a crash-recruitment drive: The current mix is still way down and way younger (and more female) than it has ever been – and there’s real rumblings https://www.crimeandjustice.org.uk/resources/68-too-late

More People Struggle

Nearly ¾ of people in prison report mental health problems, half of those entering prison are estimated to have a neurodivergent condition, drugs are a feature in over half of all prison sentences and the fastest growing part of the prison population is men over 60 (Prison Reform Trust).

Short Term Thinking

We’re on our 11^th Secretary of State for Justice since 2010 and our 13^th Minister Of State.

Every time there’s a change it’s time, energy and money spent on courtship/induction-new agenda and then off we go again – times 24. 

And to cap it all in prison kitchens even chips are feeling the heat https://insidetime.org/youve-had-your-chips/

Behold my office, dear reader:

What to roll with?

What to rail against?

What should be the rhythm of the work?

All will become apparent, I suspect.

---

Beware: I Have Bias

This is not an objective piece of writing.

For the sake of transparency this is what you need to know:

• As an educated middle-aged white bloke with agency and economic means I recognise that I am operating at the least level of difficulty in this (my) society. (Thanks to author John Scalzi https://whatever.scalzi.com for that nugget).
• I’ve never served time and there is no history of prison service in my family.
• Writing and podcasting about my experiences is first and foremost a selfish act: It helps me make sense of ‘em. If other people are moved to consider their own stuff as a result of being drawn into mine then I’ve hit both my markers.

This is what you should know about what I think about crime-punishment:

• With very few exceptions prison should return men and women who have committed a crime back to society ready and able to contribute and participate as a paid-up member of the human race.
• With very few exceptions those people deserve that chance.
• Many parts of our justice system need wholesale reform. The challenge for people like me is how to make a meaningful contribution among the chaos and contradictions – and that’s a work in progress for most of us, I suspect.

Timeline RFYL CIC

You think it’s hard breaking out of prison? You want to try breaking in: 

2012 First invitation to a Category C prison. Project pulled pre-start 

2013 First short pilot delivered at a Cat D prison

2014-16 More testing – more pilots – still no ££

2016 RFYL Conception. Doors open–doors close-funding bids/rejected

2017 RFYL Community Interest Company formed. More rejections 

2018 Doors open–close/bids etc: Getting boring now. Still no ££

2019 March: Second Proof Of Concept pilot HMP Stafford 

2019 June: First corporate sponsorship Kebbell Homes

2019 Dec: First paid work secured HMP Wymott, Theraputic Community

2020 March: Covid19 pandemic hits - work stops as prisons enter lockdown

2020 June: Start online coaching supporting prison governors as prisons stay shut

2021 January: First funding for Covid19 response work HMP/YOI Brinsford

2021 March: 3 programs delivered in semi-lockdown HMP/YOI Brinsford

2021 Sept: Second corporate sponsor PwC Foundation 

2021 Dec: Prisons revert to almost full lockdown as Omicron variant hits

2022 Feb: Start working in person with prison leadership groups

2022 March: NHS funding award to re-start in-prison work in NW

2022 Oct: In-prison work re-starts for older men at HMP Wymott

2023 July: Two year extension to NHS funding for expansion of in-prison work

My return to mountain biking has brought me pleasure and copious servings of humble pie.

This is a good thing – right? – ‘cos one should never get too big for one’s boots, and while the (small) rational coachy bit of me understands this the emotional animal bit still finds it hard to digest: When you’ve been used to playing ding dong at the sharp end it’s a bit of a shock to find yourself scrabbling at the back while self-respect plays a game of frantic catch-up.

Giving It My All used to equate to being up at the sharp end if not the entire field then at least my age group – which will happen when I do eventually return to running. Right?

And while I was jumping back into this biking thing after a quarter of a century away I had at least expected some level of respectability to come from the results.

Hello, real world.

Some serious reframing was clearly in order if I was going to experience even a hint of joy and progress in a project that I was putting 7-10 hours a week voluntary effort in to.

• Process Over Outcome: It’s an old chestnut that has oceans of worth re sense of agency, measuring success as it does on the ‘how’ of the activity – until time and finish position is published, of course.
• Fastest This Year: Works with repeated benchmark sessions and races – like Parkrun.
• Spotlight On Specifics: Lap times within a minute of each other; each lap faster; hard on the pedals for 5 out of each turn – all these are examples of specific practice done while managing mood in the heat of competition.
• The Usual Suspects: My position in the finishing pecking order of those around me which works well when races are grouped in a series over time and the same folks are turning up to compete for cumulative honours.

If my first race back had me lowering the bar and widening the goals (see previous blog Two Wheels Good) the second one had me reaching for the matches to burn the f**kin’ things down and elevate my Scottish effort right up the rankings on my ‘Sh** I’m Really Proud Of’ List.

This time we were in an old quarry in Lancashire on a tight rock-strewn course that packed an awful lot of what we’ll call Stimuli into a small space (Course Preview - Crank It Cycling Lee Quarry 2023) 

Once again Sons Of Mouncey had acquitted themselves well in the earlier races: Joe had coped with a thrown chain right at the start that had the entire field ride away from him to re-mount and haul a few back strays on his way to a lonely finish. Elder brother Tom had chatted his way through the easier stuff early on keeping his powder dry to focus on his favourite gnarly downhill sections and take the big technical drop off with style on every lap.

And then Dad.

It was Scotland all over again and then some:

Once again I’m the only one in the field riding an old-style – make that a 30year old – bike: Upright geometry and small frame, triple chainring and small wheels. Everyone else – and I do mean everyone – is on modern longer framesets with big wheels and single chainring. 

Without going all bike geek on you let’s just say that over the years bike manufacturers have got way better at making machines that are fit for purpose using technology undreamed of a few short decades ago. This means that all things being equal you go faster for the same effort on a modern machine – period – and that difference gets bigger as the terrain gets rougher. I’d begun to appreciate that after Scotland and then somewhat indignantly asking Coach the ‘But I’m in shape - Can I Really Be This Sh** On A Bike?’ question.

Er, yes – but it’s more about the bike these days than you might think, old man.

Anyway, at this point in the experiment I’m still resolutely doing Luddite and clinging to the ‘I’ll beat you on my bone-shaker anyway and prove I’m twice the man you are’ mindset. Once again reality (and physics) was having no truck with that as the entire field rode away from me with uncaring ease from the start, and I had to fight like a bast**d to salvage a sliver of pride that came with catching the rider in front.

Once again I was lapped multiple times.

Once again I was shaken, stirred and slow over the rough stuff.

And this time for good measure I was very publicly dumped off the bike and onto my face every time I attempted the big technical drop off that eldest son had taken with style not once but three times.

Oh yeah, and my saddle came loose and locked itself into a grossly uncomfortable/unhelpful position early on which make my feeble attempts at fluid athletic motion even more pathetic, and a final lap puncture had me finishing not just out of sight but also out of mind.

Fortunately by the time the finish line arrived I’d worked out my self-indulgent pissed-offness, chalked it all up as ‘Taking Time Out On Two Wheels To Grow As A Person’ and was just looking forwards to a nice cup of tea.

And resolved to doing more training – and buying a new bike.

It’s taken me and age and then some to get back into the prison.

What’s that line again?

‘You think it’s hard to break out of prison? You want to try breaking in…’

And that’s after being vetted, cleared by security and having worked there often enough that at least some folks recognise the orange shirt if not the cherubic features and chirpy greeting that goes with it.

I could write a book (and probably will).

Finally last month I manage it – heading onto the unit housing the older men where I spent much of the autumn and first half of winter. I’d had no news which could mean nothing and something, but as I’d left in place people and process I was w

ell, optimistic that at least Something would have stuck. Because it doesn’t matter how many folks rave about it at the time or what measurable improvements are witnessed the acid test on any intervention is always beyond the finish line: When teacher exits the class – what does the class do then?

What indeed – I was about to find out.

On the walk in I did my first fishing with my escorting staff member which had me arriving with more questions than answers – and I got the headlines soon enough in big-bold. Of the 5 key people I’d had in place to continue the work beyond me the fates of 4 were stark:

• Sick for a long period
• Gone to another prison
• Moved to another wing
• Dead

Dead: That one I couldn’t square ‘cos the man in question and the one that I recall who did extraordinary well on the program had no sign to me of death looming. How and why did he die? Did he deserve it? He was in here for a reason – so how did I feel about that?

Awfully bloody conflicted, is what…

Of the activities still happening? ‘Well, some of the men are still walking the laps Andy, and we do now have an exercise bike too…’

Right. 

‘Christ – is that it? Was I that f**kin’ shit?’

Somewhat in a daze I continued to dig and did the rounds doing the meet-greet thing with everyone and ramping it up for those I recognised from my program. Faces lit up for me on recognition which I did my best to reciprocate but it wasn’t what I was feeling. Almost without exception everyone I’d worked with looked WORSE: Older, smaller, frailer and when they talked they did so with resignation and seemingly without hope.

The staff – bless’ em – even manged to get me across to another part of the prison where one of the strongest advocates of the program was now placed. The contrast to the man I remember could not have been starker and I felt awful that I could not say-do more in the two rushed minutes I had with him in the doorway to his cell on a busy noisy wing.

And I get to walk away in the end…

So.

Important to re-make the human contact but the stuff that came with it? Not so uplifting. 

A visceral reminder of what I knew already but had not witnessed to this extent: 

Without monumental personal effort and extraordinary people consistently visible on the frontline prison life will always slide back to the line of least resistance and a low bar – and that slide is particularly fast and steep for older men who are quick to age, slow to heal and find it hard to breathe and difficult to move.

What I really that f**kin’ shit? 

Considered more dispassionately over the next few days and in discussion with others who know this work a more considered answer is ‘Not really.’ 

Though of course it depends on what we’re measuring – and using as comparison.

I now know what’s possible.

So do they.

And I now really appreciate how much the odds are stacked against them in this environment.

Just gotta change the odds next time then…

---

Further Reading

Living (and dying) as an older person in prison

Prison is no place for old men

---

Context

For the sake of transparency this is what you need to know about me:

• As an educated middle-aged white bloke with agency and economic means I recognise that I am operating at the least level of difficulty in this (my) society. (Thanks to author John Scalzi https://whatever.scalzi.com for that nugget).
• I’ve never served time and there is no history of prison service in my family.
• Writing and podcasting about my experiences is first and foremost a selfish act: It helps me make sense of them. If other people are moved to consider their own stuff as a result of being drawn into mine then I’ve hit both my markers.

This is what you should know about what I think about crime-punishment:

• With very few exceptions prison should return men and women who have committed a crime back to society ready and able to contribute and participate as a paid-up member of the human race.
• With very few exceptions those people deserve that chance.
• Many parts of our justice system need wholesale reform. The challenge for people like me is how to make a meaningful contribution among the chaos and contradictions – and that’s a work in progress for most of us, I suspect.

Timeline RFYL CIC

2012 First invitation to a Category C prison. Project pulled pre-start 

2013 First short pilot delivered (unpaid) at a Cat D prison

2014-16 More testing – more pilots – still no ££

2016 RFYL Conception. Doors open–doors close-funding bids/rejected

2017 RFYL Community Interest Company formed. Doors open-close/bids 

2018 Doors open–close/bids etc: Getting boring now. Still no ££

2019 March: Second Proof Of Concept pilot delivered HMP Stafford (unpaid) 

2019 June: First corporate sponsorship from Kebbell Homes

2019 Dec: First paid work secured HMP Wymott, Theraputic Community

2020 March: Covid19 pandemic hits - work stops as prisons enter lockdown

2020 June: Start online coaching supporting prison governors as prisons stay shut

2021 January: First funding awarded for Covid19 response work HMP/YOI Brinsford

2021 March: Three programs delivered in semi-lockdown HMP/YOI Brinsford

2021 Sept: Second corporate sponsor PwC Foundation supports the governor work

2021 Dec: Prisons revert to almost full lockdown as Omicron variant hits

2022 Feb: Start working online with deputy governors and governor PAs 

2022 March: Secure NHS funding to re-start in-prison work

2022 Oct: In-prison work finally re-starts HMP Wymott Older Men

My current in-prison work with elderly and disabled men has been a bumpy ride.

Now in this line of work bumps come with the territory but, y’know, there are bumps – and there are bumps. It’s been successful on many levels with some notable personal and professional firsts – one of which was securing permission to bring a professional photographer inside https://www.andyaitchison.uk/index . 

Now obviously there are rules about photos and prison and one of those is ‘No Faces’ – so the only face captured is mine. This was the first time I’d seen my behind-bars work through someone else’s eyes and I found the images fascinating – but something felt off. 

Then the penny dropped:

I am not smiling in any shot.

Now our photographer assured me that there are shots of me in there looking radiant – just not in the Top 50 he sent me.

Hmm.

This is highly unusual and prompted me to have a word or six with myself.

Something that took way more thinking, sharing and writing than I’d figured.

Inevitably, this is a tale of Compound & Cumulative: Many factors combining to affect me over time in what were/are extraordinary post-pandemic circumstances in our prisons.

So while the experience is mine and is time and place-specific, there may be stuff you recognise from your world too.

Which means if my stuff can help your stuff this is indeed a worthwhile post.

Plan v Reality

Now I have a whole bundle of goodies in my personal and professional toolbox that helps me manage my mood when the universe throws me a curve and then decides to keep throwing.

Sometimes the lid still comes off despite these measures and I go into safety-salvage mode:

Lower the bar to ‘just good enough’

Avoid risk, conflict and generally withdraw

Revert to reactive-rehearsed-safe

Such was the case right at the end of this project.

WHAT HAPPENED & WHY

Extended Solo Working In A Challenging Environment

It took 5 months from the award of funding to starting the work.

That’s 5 months of stop-start meetings, visits, phone calls, prep work as managers and staff blew hot and cold. This meant I was passed around till I found a need I could meet with a team that wanted my help and could make it happen.

I’d also lost my pre-Covid in-house advocate and fixer’: Someone who was alongside me throughout prep and delivery who had the inside knowledge to direct me and to troubleshoot with ease.

This time there was a mental and emotional toll before I even got to the start line – though the bastard was in stealth mode which meant I hadn’t noticed and no-one else close to me had either.

Intimate-Intensive Experience    

I work in a deliberately intimate way the better to establish a human-emotional connection the better to give the people I’m working with a reason to take action. 

I design my programs to be the direct opposite to a normal prison regime for the same reason. This is a challenge to enact in a stable environment – which this certainly wasn’t.

I adopt an inherently hopeful position that the person in front of me can and could move forward to do more/be better – and I was engaged to do just that in this work.

Compartmentalisation was crucial with these men because the following was also true:

They looked like my grandad – but they were inside for a reason. 

They were physically incapacitated which was hard to witness – but could do and be so much more (and many did by the program end). 

They had learned to be reticent, withdrawn – but many were also skilled manipulators.

So I was giving a lot and having to keep stuff in multiple boxes that didn’t seem to stack well together. Neither was I getting much back to reassure me that my program content was landing right – and lacking my fixer-advocate to check-challenge then and there.

Limited Feedback

Much of body language was absent and lingering afterwards to chat rarely happened.

This is unusual with my stuff.

Most men did not speak openly in a group – if any hint of conflict they’d quickly withdraw which could involve actually leaving the room.

I did handshakes, first names and eye contact religiously but all other tactile signals to go with e.g. celebrating success I considered a step too far. By program end I was getting some reciprocation but only in a few.

Many were on medication which affected their capacity to signal engagement, and many struggled with cognitive capacity – manifest in poor level of reading, writing, concentration.

This all meant that I was missing many of the normal signals of engagement and comprehension – even though the men were physically present – and what signals I had I wondered how much was a function of medication and, well…

Was the response I was getting genuine? 

How to know for sure?

Which meant that I was continually accumulating questions and by end of program had more questions about these men than I had answers.

Except I also had connections with many that felt warm and in the outside world would be called blossoming friendships.

WTF?? Ask the audience?

Extra Emotional Impact         

I was moved by the levels of physical, mental and emotional disfunction – many were frail and seemingly without hope, had limited agency and physiological function. 

And I was also acutely aware that there was a ton of other stuff I wasn’t seeing.

Given the ‘limited feedback/way more questions’ situation it was – unexpectedly - the recorded audio interviews at end of program that provided answers. The interviewees spoke - I believe - from the heart about life inside and the impact of this work. 

Capturing feedback this way was a first for me but it was clearly a right way for this group – reticent to speak openly in public – but by joining some of the dots it added to the emotional impact of the work and strengthened human connections right at the end.

The irony that this work has been funded by NHS from a post-Covid mental health pot is not lost on me. And I’m OK – really - richer for the experience, made some changes to my own stuff and will be pitching hard and smart for support to develop this work. 

‘Cos I love my work and I recognise that this is a rare privilege.

It’s also a reminder yet again of Some Fundamental Truths:

The world is messy.

People are complex.

And compartments can leak.

---

*Blatently borrowed from the late-great Heath Ledger’s demonic Joker in The Dark Knight.

Further Reading

Older people in prison https://www.russellwebster.com/the-needs-of-older-people-in-prison/Staffing trends prison and probation https://www.russellwebster.com/prison-and-probation-officers-leaving-in-droves/

…is that one can be – how shall I put this – Disruptive.

‘Too disruptive’ means folks just walk off taking their balls with them.

‘Too disruptive’ means yours truly is left on the field holding his…

Well.

In my defence it hasn’t got quite as bad as that, but on Day 2 with Group 1 from my Vulnerable Prisoner unit I was indeed staring at half the group I started with and there were rumblings of rebellion in the air.

This was somewhat of a surprise as to my mind I’d lowered the bar significantly and appropriately. (FFS!) I’d spent bloomin’ hours on the unit prior to this point getting to know the people, the place and what normal looked like – and bloomin’ hours at home planning and scheming. 

And lowering the bar.

And lowering the bar.

And here we are and they’re telling me – via very polite spokesman – that Day 1 was…

Too long.

Too hard.

Don’t like it that we can’t do this.

Don’t like it that we have to do that.

But we did actually really enjoy it / getting out of cell / doing something different / doing something different together.

But it’s too long.

And too hard.

WTF?!*$!!!!

I feel somewhat conflicted ‘cos on the one hand it’s really not supposed to be a walk in the park or like anything they’re used to – and I know from previous work that people wobble after the first day, grit their teeth through the middle bit but then come around at the end.

So it’s beholden on me to just hold the line – right? 

‘Cos nothing worthwhile comes easy – right?

On the other hand attendance is voluntary, some are choosing to come here over work time that they are paid for and many of them do have a sleep early afternoon.

Yes, really.

(There we were 1pm Day 1 and I can see Bob nodding off in his chair right infront of me. The inspirational speaker part of me was most affronted until everyone reassured me this was all perfectly normal. Three times in the next few minutes we had to give him a wee nudge).

But here’s the clincher for men like these: 

So Bloomin’ What??

Most are in their twilight years with very limited physical and mental capacity, little hope of doing much about that and well, little hope at all really. Whatever I know to be true about neuro-elasticity and ‘Use It Or Lose It’ means very little to men who have only known their capacities and world to be one where shrinkage is normal and inevitable.

Most have spent years and decades perfecting the skills of withdrawing, doing least with less and have rituals and habits to this end that have the strength of blood rites.

My ability to position this gig and sell the benefits in a way they recognise and that is credibly realistic is only part of the battle: The other part is that it - and they - have to be robust enough to withstand the Rock Throwers.

‘Cos there are always people who love to throw rocks from the safety of the side lines.

Just ‘cos they like throwing rocks without those rocks coming back at them.

Social media is rife - but a place like this is arguably even worse because…

There’s no off button.

There’s no escape.

There’s no volume control.

Which means you have to have some serious shields up and deflection strategies running and to put up with that s**t until the benefits are clear even to the naysayers.

And all this in a place where hope and resilience seem out of reach for so many men. 

So while it does feel like I’m in a pretty pickle I also have two things going for me:

Half are still here and at least half-smiling.

The other half are still talking to me albeit from a distance and via a proxy.

If I’m thinking clearly I’ll also remember that this is not about me or my arbitrary Line Of Difficulty. Which means a handful of (yet more) changes to the what-how-when of the programme - assuming they can be made to stick operationally - are not an act of surrender by me but one that could well be enough to persuade my rebels to return.

For positive ‘moving towards’ reasons.

Which is more or less what happens over the next few days.

Another thing that happens over the next few days is that I discover how low the bar really is and what that actually means for my content and delivery.

They start to talk to me about slips and stumbles and falls that dump them on the floor of their 8x 4’ cell and unable to get up again. That may be ‘cos they are trapped under/around furniture, are stranded on their back turtle-style unable to turn and/or are just too big and weak and struggling for breath in a cramped space to do anything except lie there slowly blacking out.

We recreate the layout of a cell in our activity space and the more able ones show me. Look: This is how we get stuck. 

We somehow manage to get our biggest specimen – probably north of 18 stone - safely on the deck so I can really see what Wedged really looks like. We have men on crutches and sticks in this group and in wheelchairs too, and all pitch in with their own versions of what is clearly a nightmare and very real scenario. 

These mainly timid and withdrawn men are by now really animated as we have clearly hit a nerve that I belatedly realise I should have seen coming. I discovered early on that most struggle to stand out of a chair - but more importantly most had never been shown how to do that efficiently either.

So that night I work on my ‘Un-Stuck Scenarios’ pulling together efficient movement patterns from elite sport, safe movement skills from rock climbing and breathing patterns from weightlifting.

And I teach them how to move and breathe to get themselves un-stuck from the floor in a variety of positions. I teach them how to get into the recovery position - because sometimes all else will fail - and I coach them in how to do that for others.

Because the question that reveals how low the bar is for these men is this one: ‘Can you get up from the floor today?’

---

Beware: Bias 

This is not an objective piece of writing.

For the sake of transparency this is what you need to know:

• As an educated middle-aged white bloke with agency and economic means I recognise that I am operating at the least level of difficulty in this (my) society. (Thanks to author John Scalzi https://whatever.scalzi.com for that nugget).
• I’ve never served time and there is no history of prison service in my family.
• Writing and podcasting about my experiences is first and foremost a selfish act: It helps me make sense of ‘em. If other people are moved to consider their own stuff as a result of being drawn into mine then I’ve hit both my markers.

This is what you should know about what I think about crime-punishment:

• With very few exceptions prison should return men and women who have committed a crime back to society ready and able to contribute and participate as a paid-up member of the human race.
• With very few exceptions those people deserve that chance.
• Many parts of our justice system need wholesale reform. The challenge for people like me is how to make a meaningful contribution among the chaos and contradictions – and that’s a work in progress for most of us, I suspect.

Timeline RFYL CIC

You think it’s hard breaking out of prison? You want to try breaking in: 

2012 First invitation to a Category C prison. Project pulled pre-start 

2013 First short pilot delivered (unpaid) at a Cat D prison

2014-16 More testing – more pilots – still no ££

2016 RFYL Conception. Doors open–doors close-funding bids/rejected

2017 RFYL Community Interest Company formed. Doors open-close/bids 

2018 Doors open–close/bids etc: Getting boring now. Still no ££

2019 March: Second Proof Of Concept pilot delivered HMP Stafford (unpaid) 

2019 June: First corporate sponsorship from Kebbell Homes

2019 Dec: First paid work secured HMP Wymott, Theraputic Community

2020 March: Covid19 pandemic hits - work stops as prisons enter lockdown

2020 June: Start online coaching supporting prison governors as prisons stay shut

2021 January: First funding awarded for Covid19 response work HMP/YOI Brinsford

2021 March: Three programs delivered in semi-lockdown HMP/YOI Brinsford

2021 Sept: Second corporate sponsor PwC Foundation supports the governor work

2021 Dec: Prisons revert to almost full lockdown as Omicron variant hits

2022 Feb: Start working online with deputy governors and governor PAs 

2022 March: Secure NHS funding to re-start in-prison work

2022 Oct: In-prison work finally re-starts HMP Wymott Vulnerable Prisoners

This is not an objective piece of writing.

For the sake of transparency this is what you need to know:

• As an educated middle-aged white bloke with agency and economic means I recognise that I am operating at the least level of difficulty in this (my) society. (Thanks to author John Scalzi https://whatever.scalzi.com for that nugget).
• I’ve never served time and there is no history of prison service in my family.
• Writing and podcasting about my experiences is first and foremost a selfish act: It helps me make sense of them which helps me be better at that work. If other people are moved to consider their own stuff as a result of being drawn into mine then I’ve hit both my markers.

This is what you should know about what I think about crime-punishment:

• With very few exceptions prison should return men and women who have committed a crime back to society ready and able to contribute and participate as a paid-up member of the human race.
• With very few exceptions those people deserve that chance.
• Many parts of our justice system need wholesale reform. The challenge for people like me is how to make a meaningful contribution among the chaos and contradictions – and that’s a work in progress for most of us, I suspect.

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Forgotten Few

It was supposed to be easier this time around. (see earlier blog Putting The Band Back Together)

But September rolled around and I had still not managed to re-start my work in prison with folks on the other side of the bars.

And I’ve had funding from NHS to do just that since April.

Trust me I’ve tried – oh yes by crikey I’ve tried.

Because it felt like theft I’d checked back at least twice along the lines of:

‘Er, you know that money you gave me back in Easter? Well, I really am trying to find a way to spend it on what we agreed I’d spend it on but so far…

You OK that I’m still sitting on it?’

Bless ‘em they were and are because what I was telling them about my experience of bashing my head against a brick wall this time around chimed with what they were finding too: Usual system chaos ramped up to Number 11 by a post-Covid staff crisis – namely that lots of the recently recruited new young ones are leaving.*

Which means a successful day reduces down to covering just the essential functions.

Which means that people like me – easy to dismiss as ‘non-essential’ – become one ball too many in the great game of keepy-upy.

‘Cos the reality is that I need the presence and support of staff to do what I do in the way that I do it in there. It’s a bit out of the ordinary and requires a touch of operational stretch.

So ‘we’ve not got enough staff’ can be both true and a smokescreen to hide behind – if you’re a disciple of the Church of Learned Helplessness.

I really didn’t expect to have to sell this thing all over again either.

My path to re-start had been further broken by two other changes: New staff in roles that mattered to me and my stuff, and my key staff advocate moved to a new more distant role.

The loss of the latter made me realise how much he’d flown the flag at ground level for us and generally oiled the wheels. Sh** was just way easier with him on board and his loss meant more unexpected hard yards for me.

I was pissed ‘cos it felt like I’d earned my stripes with the pre-Covid work – and here I was being given short thrift in short order.

Anyway.

Before this descends into full rant let’s bring you right up to date:

As I write I am deep into pre-start work with the Elderly & Disabled men – known as the Vulnerable Prisoner group. ‘Vulnerable’ because they are old and frail and need help to look after themselves even at a basic level, and/or Vulnerable because they are at risk from other men in the prison.

Because of the nature of their offences.

This group is also the fastest growing population in our prisons in part because prosecutions have been catching up with crimes committed 10-20-30 years ago and more.

They are housed in a prison within the prison that sounds, looks and feels quite different:

It’s very quiet with very little movement.

Everywhere is clean and neat – ‘one careful owner’ comes to mind.

The pace is slow, staff are measured and operationally it feels very therapeutic.

And yet here be monsters.

There are indeed men here who have been convicted of truly horrific crimes – which means I have a choice to make.

Do I choose to see the monstrosity or the potential for something else/better?

And that’s also a stretch because there are men here with sentences longer than their expected lifespan.

It’s also an illusion because the reality is that this is not a simple binary choice about the perspective I hold: I need to be able to hold both because (a) reality is always more shades of grey than black and white and (b) there are men here who are very good at hiding world class manipulation skills behind a friendly face. So I need my wits alongside my compassion.

By now the support system I run to keep me where I need to be for this work is well developed. By no means bomb-proof but seems to repair well after saturation:

I choose to see a human being with potential

I use first names and make eye contact

I use open questions

I never ask after the offence

If the offence is offered I’ll listen – and that’s all I’ll do

I make sure I exercise before I end my day

I have people I can talk to if I’m really caught in a loop

And remember that the world is messy and people are complex.

*15% of prison officers left the service last year - half had been in post for less than 3 years and a quarter in post for less than a year (Prison Reform Trust Bromley Briefing summer 2022)

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Timeline RFYL CIC

You think it’s hard breaking out of prison? You want to try breaking in: 

2012 First invitation to a Category C prison. Project pulled pre-start 

2013 First short pilot delivered (unpaid) at a Cat D prison

2014-16 More testing – more pilots – still no ££

2016 RFYL Conception. Doors open–doors close-funding bids/rejected

2017 RFYL Community Interest Company formed. Doors open-close/bids 

2018 Doors open–close/bids etc: Getting boring now. Still no ££

2019 March: Second Proof Of Concept pilot delivered HMP Stafford (unpaid) 

2019 June: First corporate sponsorship from Kebbell Homes

2019 Dec: First paid work secured HMP Wymott, Theraputic Community

2020 March: Covid19 pandemic hits - work stops as prisons enter lockdown

2020 June: Start online coaching supporting prison governors as prisons stay shut

2021 January: First funding awarded for Covid19 response work HMP/YOI Brinsford

2021 March: Three programs delivered in semi-lockdown HMP/YOI Brinsford

2021 Sept: Second corporate sponsor PwC Foundation supports the governor work

2021 Dec: Prisons revert to almost full lockdown as Omicron variant hits

2022 Feb: Start working online with deputy governors and governor PAs 

2022 March: Secure NHS funding to re-start in-prison work

2022 Oct: In-prison work finally re-starts HMP Wymott Vulnerable Prisoners

Beware! Bias Below

Just because I do my homework doesn’t mean this is an objective piece of writing.

For the sake of transparency this is where I’m coming from and where I’m going:

• As an educated middle-aged white bloke with economic means I am operating at the least level of difficulty in this (my) society.
• I’ve never served time and there is no history of prison service in my family.
• My writing and podcasts are designed to get more people to give a damn about this subject so public opinion shifts and more politicians are moved to push for reform.

For the sake of clarity this is what you should know about what I think:

• With very few exceptions prison should return men and women who have committed a crime back to society ready and able to contribute and participate as a paid-up member of the human race.
• With very few exceptions those people deserve that chance.

Many parts of our justice system need wholesale reform - and yet there are good people doing great work in almost impossible circumstances.

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More Than A Matter Of Faith

It’s all too easy to get lost in yer own bull**** and believe that 10 years’ experience of anything will give you a rounded appreciation not only of the black and white bits but all the shades of grey as well.

Hmm.

I’d been aware for a while that my experience of prison and the people in it was a reflection of me – white, English as a first language, brought up in a Christian family. And with some exceptions my first 10 years has indeed been mainly white, mainly English, etc.

Now there are lots of reasons/excuses for that all of which you might let lie if it wasn’t for the fact that this does not reflect the proportionality and the diversity of our prison population:

27% are from a minority ethnic group – the largest being Black or Black British (13%) followed by Asian or Asian British (8%) – and this proportion is way in excess of that found in our society in general.

(And there are reasons/excuses for that too).

There are people identifying right across the range of religious denominations and non-faith practices.

Which makes my experience to date somewhat skewed and with some great gaping holes - and a Chaplaincy service of a prison very busy indeed dealing as they do with both pastoral and faith-based care for people on both sides of the bars.

This means that the Chaplaincy team get to experience pretty much everything from pretty much anyone at pretty much anytime. And THIS meant that if I really was serious about broadening my outlook there really was only one place and one group of people to hang around with.

Insides-Outsides

So here’s me hanging in the heart of a prison at 8am with the Chaplain, Iman and two others from the team debating the similarities and differences between Gypsy and Traveller – and the operational ripple effect if there are both in a prison (which there are here).

At this point dear reader, you need to park any preconceptions you may have of a prison Chaplin as a mild, diminutive older man or woman wafting around in the wings. There are indeed those who appear mild and diminutive but you should not for a second make the mistake of assuming that what you see on the outside is a reflection of what is inside.

Inside is usually steel forged through the challenge of staying true to self and faith through decades of real life and real stuff. 

Many of the team I’m with today cut their teeth in gang-ridden Young Offender Institutions where a good day was one where everyone went to bed with their insides still on the inside.

These people have been around the block and then some – essential when you are in the relationship-building business.

This team – there are nearly a dozen to cover each of the denominations represented in this prison – have created a green oasis at the heart of the compound. Well, the work was actually done by the men but what came from that was deep sense of ownership. 

There is open sky, grass, parkland features and animals: It’s neutral ground with its own rules that are strictly enforced. What animals there are are small and in cages or enclosures – the men here can identify with that, I’m told - it makes them smile. 

‘I’d have a whole zoo if I could’ the Chaplain tells me, and he doesn’t have to elaborate:

Pets As Therapy https://petsastherapy.org/news-and-events/article/pets-as-therapy-in-uk-prisons

It’s a (positive) distraction

It’s a way of practicing the skills of cause and effect and of caring for others

It’s a responsibility to be earned and cherished

It’s a full sensory experience with no strings and no hidden agenda

Fresh eggs.

And so on.

Respite Care

‘High maintenance’ individuals are to be found in most cases where groups of humans come together and prison is no exception: There are a small number of people who suck up a high level of support and attention – except that in here the cost of getting the play-along v ignore balance wrong could be way worse than the adult equivalent of a bawling toddler tantrum. Sometimes the staff just need a break and when they do it’s the Chaplaincy team that step in. Which is why we have one such individual brought down to us after a cry for help from the staff who look after one of the wings housing around 100 men.

Eyes are collectively rolled because it’s one of the Usual Suspects. The Chaplain leans over trying very hard to project gravitas over a building grin:

‘This’ll be a good one for you Andy – one of our more complex individuals…’

I suspect a set-up but whatcha gonna do?!?

Which is why I come to spend the next hour with the Iman being ranted at almost continuously by a man-mountain transmitting grievance after grievance at maximum force permitted under Chaplaincy Rules.

It’s probably the most intense active listening I’ve ever done to what is actually quite a remarkable diatribe: One outstanding grievance articulated and framed in multiple ways repeated continually and keeping just to the right side of polite.

When the torrent does abate I throw in a few tried and tested re-frame questions to put the responsibility for a solution back to our guest.

And get absolutely nowhere.

I very quickly come to the conclusion that this guy is absolutely fine: It’s just that I am in the presence of a master-manipulator who clearly loves an audience. 

So we give him what he wants and one hour later we all shake hands and he shuffles off to no doubt take up where he left off back on his wing.

The Chaplain can barely keep the grin down and I file that under ‘Taking One For The Team.’

Meet & Greet

The team make it their business to be among the first people a new arrival will encounter. People are sent here either from the courts to start their sentence or they are transferred from another prison. They come in an almost windowless van and step out to be almost always greeted by a collection of the current residents gathered to watch the new faces.

Entertainment: Y’all got to get it how you can.

After that is a very official process-driven welcome to which the team add their own touch of warmth to an experience that to my eyes at least seems very cold.

I sit in on six of these new arrival receptions – after explanations of my status and asking permission – as the Chaplaincy member conducts what seems to me to be an emotional and religious needs analysis from a standard list. 

The young men in question are displaying right across the spectrum from clear signs of stress to seemingly relaxed and comfortable.  

The encounters take as little as what seems like two minutes to perhaps three times that – and I’m struck by the brevity. It’s also impossible not to be moved by what I’m witnessing. That’s also clearly the case for the Chaplaincy team too: Lord know how many times my host has done this duty but it’s clear from her reaction that it still really matters – and who from our six she has already marked as more ‘at risk’ and needing faster follow-up than the others.

There was of course much more to the day that did much to un-block my ears and let some of the scales fall from my eyes.

Professionally, there was much I recognised from the coaching-training-theraputic skill set. Personally, I was moved by what I witnessed from a group of people bringing some much needed humanity to what can look and feel like a very cold process in a very stark environment where the concept and practice of hope remains elusive for many.

You can read more about the work of a Chaplaincy team here

First day out of prison

Sources

Russell Webster keeps you up to date with drugs and crime

https://prisonreformtrust.org.uk

https://www.gov.uk/government/organisations/ministry-of-justice/about/statistics

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Timeline RFYL CIC

You think it’s hard breaking out of prison? You want to try breaking in: 

2012 First invitation to a Category C prison. Project pulled pre-start 

2013 First short pilot delivered (unpaid) at a Cat D prison

2014-16 More testing – more pilots – still no ££

2016 RFYL Conception. Doors open–doors close-funding bids/rejected

2017 RFYL Community Interest Company formed. Doors open-close/bids 

2018 Doors open–close/bids etc: Getting boring now. Still no ££

2019 March: Second Proof Of Concept pilot delivered HMP Stafford (unpaid) 

2019 June: First corporate sponsorship from Kebbell Homes

2019 Dec: First paid work secured HMP Wymott, Theraputic Community

2020 March: Covid19 pandemic hits - work stops as prisons enter lockdown

2020 June: Start online coaching supporting prison governors as prisons stay shut

2021 January: First funding awarded for Covid19 response work HMP/YOI Brinsford

2021 March: Three programs delivered in semi-lockdown HMP/YOI Brinsford

2021 Sept: Second corporate sponsor PwC Foundation supports the governor work

2021 Dec: Prisons revert to almost full lockdown as Omicron variant hits

2022 Feb: Start working online with deputy governors and governor PAs 

2022 March: Secure NHS funding to re-start prison work

The Numbers

Funding Bids Written & Rejected: 37

Funding Bids Successful: 2

Times I’ve Honestly Thought About Quitting: 4 

Times My Wife Has Given Me Permission To Quit: 2Times My Wife Has Really Meant It: 1

Apologies to those of you who were waiting for the almost annual epistle that is my Lakeland 100 report. After last years’ kicking  and 5 previous outings I’d decided a long time ago that me and L100 need to take time out so we can grow as er, people(?!).

At least until 2026 when I turn 60.

My spring marathon in Manchester had proved an equally joyless affair h so mindful that I’m in this running thing by choice for a cute butt er, the fun and challenge of it, I’d quickly chosen a return to my first love, (the fells) and dedicated a summer to racing *short stuff I’d either never done before or hadn’t done in decades – and given I’d done my first fellrace as a teenager this gave me, oh around 40 years to play with.

*Meaning races where the winners take 10-30mins and us mere mortals somewhat longer – ‘cos the top boys and girls are SCARY FAST.

Fellracing – for the uninitiated - has its origins in the Victorian era and takes place in the mountains of the north of England and in Scotland, Wales and Ireland. Traditionally part of a country show – along with wrestling, sprints, track cycling and trail hound racing – many of these still remain and have grown to a day out for the family of national renown.

Or they simply start and finish from a pub.

For the runner it can look like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IMIC8_0-xM

For the spectator - this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqAukNnT_M8

While over the years technology has inevitably encroached – entries online are here to stay but a GPS watch remains verboten - the key features of the sport remain unchanged: For a few quid on the day you can line up with the best in the sport to see who can run up and down the mountain in the fastest time without getting too lost and/or breaking something important on the descent.

This then, was the world I threw myself back into after I’d finished moping after Manchester with the comforting familiarity akin to pulling on that favourite old sweatshirt. 

It starts on the drive in as you start to clock that the average size of the drivers around you have dropped from the new national average – XXL – to positively slim and glowingly gaunt. Like growing up in the 70’s when the majority had enough food and no more.

Registration is typically a room in a pub or a tent in a field and the paper notices nearby giving various bits of info about the race can all be summarized thus: No Dickheads.

Most people know some people – tis a small niche world, this particular one – and even if you don’t at the start you’ll be chatting to the folks that finished around you at the finish. 

I’d been out of the scene for a bit and while I recognise faces it’s not often I’ll approach cold. Part is because I’m a raging introvert at heart and part is because I find it enough just to be immersed in it all: People are welcoming without throwing high-fives everywhere, we’re in the Big Outside and the buzz is familiar and comforting even when I have pre-race jitters. And I like the fact that a simple low key environment is a showcase for some extraordinary athletic performances.

Warm up rituals are many and varied and range from highly technical-straight out of a coaching manual, to throwing weird shapes a la Saturday Night Fever or plain just nothing at all. Race briefing happens on the start line and is a variation of the registration message: (Please) Don’t Be A Dickhead. Then someone says ‘Go!’ and we go.

Because it’s short and sweet I’m usually gasping by 30seconds and blowing out my arse by 60. Fortunately so are most people around me unless they are cool enough to be playing the pacing game. Most of us most of the time are keeping it simple: Go off as hard as you dare and hold on for as long as you can. Sometimes it’s an uphill start which means you’re straight into arse-blowing phase – sometimes it’s a short run out which means you get to be on your chinstrap before the climbing starts. 

‘Tis the gift that keeps on giving.

Historically my descending has been stronger than my climbing so I went to work on reducing the difference. Over the course of 10 races in a 3 month campaign I got to a point where I could hold my position on the up stuff. Actually passing people was due to come next. Or would have done if not for what happened next.

Running relatively fast – not prettily – down the mountain has always been a strength. I do train for it but for some reason I’ve always been able to do it and can reliably make up time and places. This has been most noticeable when I’ve raced ultras in the mountains as the field is made up of way less fellrunners and way more long distance runners. Yet even on the short stuff I can do a passable impression of a falling stone – which is fine when everything goes right, and awfully wrong when something goes wrong.

Which it did Aug 13^th during the fast and furious up-down blast that is the race from Arncliffe village in the Yorkshire Dales: In mid-falling stone mode with probably no more than 90 seconds ‘Just Hold The F**k On!’  left to run to the finish, my left foot hit a hole, stopped, while every other bit of me kept going forwards fast.

I heard the bone pop as the earth exploded up and smacked me in the head.

Helped off the fell and hobbled to the finish by which time my ankle was a balloon.

The drive home was interesting to say the least – as was the rest of the evening.

An x-ray the following morning confirmed a clean break to the fibula - smaller of the two leg bones – just below the ankle joint. 

My first bone break in 40 years of training and racing.

I’d got lucky, apparently: The ligaments stretched but held – I blessed my foot strengthening routines – and the fact that the break was below the ankle bone was a good thing. A break above would be surgery and a long and uncertain rehab, they told me. 

Just to prove this absolutely wasn’t one of those, three days later I hopped on my bike to check.

Fell-Racing: The clue’s in the title.

It seems that getting together in the flesh remains a novelty.

Notwithstanding the fact that I’m writing this on July 19^th as Britain turns to mush in a heatwave - which means a hefty proportion of our esteemed citizens default to the national baseline of wearing (and burning) flesh and not much else – work colleagues have been generally used to Covid-induced remoteness rather than proximity.

This means that whatever the client gives you in a smart, measurable outcomes brief for a corporate away day gig the bottom line, dear Workshop Lead, is this: We just want to enjoy being back together again in one place, OK?

OK.

Just make sure you give us the insightful, bespoke learning-by-stealth stuff as well though.

Riiiight..

Such was my responsibility with Active Lancashire 

recently who were getting their 50 or so senior folks together for the first time in bloomin’ ages at a rather delightful venue in the Lancashire hills https://thewellbeingfarm.co.uk

Managing the attraction of the resident Farmers Llamas proved an unexpected challenge, but hey -you just gotta play with what’s in front of you, right? 

The afternoon was squared away with Ye Ole Skool Sports Day which put me as the extended warm up act in the morning. ‘Emotional Resilience*’ is a pretty broad church but the difference this year is that I’ve found myself being asked to present this in the context of Covid, hybrid working and the so-called new world of work for which the rule books are being frantically written (and re-written). 

*What I Think This Means: How to behave and think in order to feel more in control of more of your sh** for more of the time.

This is because we’ve all been on the receiving end of a forced experience which means the precedents and learned good practice are playing frantic catch up. Right now there are still way more shades of grey here than black and white.

This is great for someone like me who is blissfully happy with shades of grey ‘cos it gives me a licence to go digging and be creative and then present with a floursh the Complex Made Simple solutions.

And I really like being my own boss.

Not so good for folks who like certainty – or leaders who are tasked to choose just what should actually be black, white or grey in this forced new workplace realty AND get their people to buy it.

Given that I make my living positioned as a so-called expert in my chosen fields it has been beholden on me to seriously figure out some stuff on stuff I’ve never had to seriously figure out before in all my decades of hopping in and out of boardrooms, classrooms and team away day er, rooms:

Help – my staff want to stay working from home!

Help – my staff want to come back to work!

Overwhelm: How the f**k did that happen so easily?

Overwhelm: Why the f**k is it so damn difficult to get out of?

Silo remote working and the Collapse Of Workplace Culture

Chain of Command v Chain of Communication

How do I take the temperature if I’m not physically walking the floor?

I know what they’re telling me – but how do I really know (what they feel)?

Sacrificed on the alter of remote working: Innovation & Creativity

We can’t actually re-write our rules – can we?

Trust me, there’s way more!

Safe to say the full answers are all very much a Work In Progress – except the problems are real and pressing right now which means WIP is no good to the people who are tasked to wrestle with this and at least get it in a temporary headlock.

So: Back to basics – and that ‘give us a good time’ brief.

Photos of my extended warm up by Steve Wiley, Active Lancashire